


I Hope You Dance

by hopingforaword



Category: Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gift!, Prom, takes place during season 11A
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:35:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28120995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopingforaword/pseuds/hopingforaword
Summary: Anya's spiraling about her future. She's got more worries than she can count about joining the military, plus she's worried about leaving all her friends. A realization guided by Fiona forces her to take action and depend on the love of her friends.
Relationships: Anya MacPherson/Holly J. Sinclair
Kudos: 6





	I Hope You Dance

**Author's Note:**

> AN: takes place before and during Dead and Gone Part 1 (TNG episode 1128) some dialogue drawn from that episode  
> named after the song by Lee Ann Womack
> 
> secret santa gift for Claire!! I hope you love it as much as Holly J and Anya love each other

“You’re going to do great in the army,” Holly J said, flipping through an old yearbook.

“But what if I’m not?”

Anya, Fiona, Chantay, and Holly J were lying around Holly J’s living room. They had enjoyed their fake prom the day before, and were finishing the weekend together. Preparing for prom and graduation meant facing the future, and Anya was terrified. She stared at the living room ceiling she knew almost as well as her own, and wished she could stay with her friends forever.

“What could you be bad at?” Chantay asked.

“Following orders.” Holly J burst out in a laugh. “What’s so funny?”

“You followed me around for three years, just doing whatever I told you. You’ll be fine with following orders,” Holly J said.

“I did not!”

Holly J turned the yearbook around to show a photo of her and Anya wearing matching outfits. “A girl who had trouble following orders would not have worn that horrendous outfit.”

Fiona reached for the yearbook. “Let me see that.” Holly J passed the yearbook and Fiona looked at the picture. She smiled at Anya, “Yeah, you’ll have no problem following orders. Or wearing hideous camo.”

“I can’t believe I did that for a whole year,” Anya said.

“A year?” Fiona asked with raised eyebrows. “That’s dedication.”

“Well, maybe I’m too good at taking orders! How will I ever get anywhere?”

Holly J rested a hand on Anya’s and smiled gently. “Anya, I’ve never seen you fail at anything you wanted to do. You’ll be fine.” Anya smiled back at her. Holly J always knew how to make her feel better.

Chantay’s phone rang. “That’s my mom, she’s outside. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” She left with a wave.

Fiona got to her feet. “I should probably head home too. I have a few final projects to put the finishing touches on.” 

Anya stood up. “I’ll walk you home, Fi.”

“No, stay!” Holly J protested. “We could watch a movie!”

“HJ,” Fiona said, “We’ve got work to do, and you have to rest up for your surgery.”

Holly J crossed her arms. “Why does everyone keep saying that? I have to rest up to be unconscious. Makes no sense to me.”

Anya rolled her eyes with a smile. “Holly J, you have not taken a day off since I’ve known you.”

“Days off make losers.”

Anya leaned in. “You are about to have a  _ new kidney _ . Take the days off.” She kissed Holly J on the forehead. “We’ll be at the hospital the second we can be.”

Holly J smiled. “I know. Get home safe, both of you.”

“Yes, mother,” Fiona said with a smile. Anya followed Fiona out of the house. They started walking toward Fiona’s loft, which was a block away from Anya’s house. 

“Nice day,” Anya said.

“It is,” Fiona replied, “Did you really wear the same outfits as Holly J for a year?”

Anya shrugged. “I didn’t want to be left out. Holly J had a plan for high school.”

“Is that all?”

Anya looked at Fiona. She had an eyebrow raised and was examining Anya carefully. Anya shivered. Fiona had always had a very perceptive gaze and seemed like the kind of person who knew more about you than you did. “I think so,” Anya said. “Why? What do you think?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Fiona said, “Maybe it’s silly but… people often imitate the people they have crushes on.”

Anya stared so intently at Fiona that almost tripped on the curb. Fiona caught her and Anya sputtered, “You think I have a crush on Holly J?”

“Had. I think you’re in love with her.”

Anya huffed a laugh. “Pot, kettle.”

“I’m over it,” Fiona said. Anya arched an eyebrow at her, and Fiona rolled her eyes. “Well, mostly over it. And there’s a difference between a few months and a few years.”

“Yeah, right, I’ve been in love with my best friend for years and I never noticed.” Anya shook her head as she checked for traffic.

“If it makes you feel better, I think she’s in love with you too.”

“What?”

“Think about what happened with Sav.”

“Sometimes best friends date the same guy.”

“Sav is very... lackluster to have dated both of you.”

“Sav is great!” 

“Be careful,” Fiona said, pulling Anya out of a bicyclist’s path, “Sav treated you like crap and then Holly J dated him. Why?”

“Because she can still be inconsiderate?”

“Because she likes you, but she doesn’t know it, so she dated your ex instead. I’ve done it before. It makes sense.”

“Fiona, not everyone is in love with Holly J. And not everyone is a lesbian.”

“I didn’t say lesbian. I just said in love. And I’m usually right about such things. Besides, rehab makes you think. There’s a lot of introspection in recovering from alcoholism.”

They stopped outside Fiona’s building. “So let’s say I was in love with Holly J.”

“You are,” Fiona interrupted.

“If I were,” Anya pressed on, “what would be the point in doing anything about it now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, she’s off to Yale! She’s got a plan, a future. I’m barely getting through each day.” Anya sat down on the stone steps. 

Fiona sat down next to her. “I know what that feels like Anya, probably more than most. I know what it’s like to be Holly J’s underachieving best friend. Hell, I’m going to miss prom and graduation.”

“You are?”

Fiona took a deep breath. “I decided this weekend that I should go to rehab again. I need to prepare myself for life without all of you in it, and that’s been scary for me. I could use some help.”

Anya nodded. “You’re so brave. Both of you. You’re going to rehab, Holly J’s getting a new kidney, Chantay is off to do wonderful things at USC, and I’m just stuck. Why would she even want me?”

“You’re not arguing that you don’t want her anymore,” Fiona joked. Anya glared at her, and Fiona dropped her smile. “You’re so kind, Anya. You’ve been there for her through everything, even when she wasn’t always there for you. She loves you. And I think she’s in love with you.”

“But why should I say anything?”

“Honesty. The chance to have something, even if it’s just a moment where she sees you? That’s got to count for something, right?” Fiona stood up and offered Anya a hand.

“One moment where the person you love acknowledges that? That’s got to count for just about everything.”

Fiona smiled. “Have a good time at prom. Take lots of pictures for me and take care of our girl.”

Anya hugged her. “I will.” She watched Fiona go inside, and walked home thinking about how predictable it was that Degrassi would throw her one last moment of drama before she graduated.

Anya plastered a grin onto her face as she and Sav walked into Holly J’s hospital room. “Hi!!”

“Hey,” Holly J said from her hospital bed. She looked smaller than Anya had ever noticed before, and her heart filled with the knowledge that Holly J was okay.

“How’s the hospital’s most beautiful patient?” Anya blushed as she asked, worried that Holly J or Sav would notice something was up. Other than her parents, these were the people in the world she’d known the longest, and Holly J certainly knew her best. 

“Great,” Holly J said before she caught a glance of what Anya was holding, “Prom seating chart? You guys came here to ask me for prom help?”

Anya’s heart was thumping. The prom seating chart was a ruse, but now it seemed like a bad one. “No, we came to see you,” she said at the same time as Sav said, “No, of course not.” Holly J raised her eyebrows at both of them, and Anya felt like melting. She’d let Holly J down. This was exactly why she couldn’t tell her. Anya had lain awake every night think about it and Fiona was right, as she often was. But Anya refused to let Holly J down, or ruin any last moments before their lives whisked them away for good.

_ You should tell her _ , said a voice that sounded a lot like Fiona’s,  _ or you’ll always wonder what if. _

“How’d the surgery go?” Sav asked quietly, and Anya was grateful that he had joined her in visiting Holly J. After all the hospital trips with her mom, she couldn’t have done this alone. 

“Well, we’re still waiting to make sure my body doesn’t reject the kidney.” Anya’s heart stopped. What then? “But, so far so good. And the doctor said the procedure was flawless.”

Sav smiled. “As with everything you do.” Anya wished she had said it first. Sav had his flaws – no one knew that better than Anya – but he was, above all else, a smooth talker. “So, uh…” Well, maybe she’d spoken too soon. 

“What prom help do you need?”

Sav and Anya climbed onto Holly J’s bed. “Sorry, you just seem to be the only one who knows how to do this stuff. I have one name left, Heather Poulette.” She showed Holly J the seating chart. “And all the senior tables are full.”

“You can put Heather with the swim club girls and move Zane to our table.”

“But Riley would hate that.”

“Fine,” said Holly J in a tone that indicated it was not fine, “But they’re serving onions with dinner.”

“And Heather Poulette’s breath,” Anya said, taking the chart back. “Alright, Riley can suck it up. He’s going to have to talk to Zane sometime, right?”

Holly J turned to Sav, knowing that he must have a question too. “Sav?”

“Um, are there any private corners or adjacent rooms or lockable closets at the prom venue?” Holly J and Anya both stared at Sav, confused. Anya wanted him to leave so she could talk to Holly J, but she was fascinated by his questions. It was classic Sav to be sneaking around but as student body president? At his senior prom?

“Simpson barely let us have the prom off campus, remember?” Holly J said with the vocal equivalent of an eyeroll. “Secret rooms equals secret trouble. Why?”

“No, I was just wondering,” Sav said, very unconvincingly, “You know, heaven forbid a student tries to sneak off to make out.”

“Sav, you are so weird sometimes. I can’t believe we both dated you.”

Anya laughed to herself as she thought about what Fiona had said. People really didn’t give her enough credit for how smart she was. 

“What?” Sav said, “No! I’m, I’m charming. I am.”

“Yeah,” Anya said with a laugh.

“Oh yeah,” Holly J said. 

Anya cleared her throat, “Sav, can I have a minute with Holly J?”

“Uh, sure.” Sav hopped down from the bed. “I’ll just wait in the hallway.” He squeezed Holly J’s hand. “Take care HJ.” He left the room and Holly J looked up at Anya. 

“What’s up?” Holly J asked. 

Anya took a deep breath to steel herself. “I had this conversation with Fiona before she went to rehab and she convinced me… well helped me realize… I’m in love with you, Holly J. Maybe for years. And I wanted to tell you because everything in the future is so uncertain right now, and I just needed you to know–”

“Anya!”

Anya looked at Holly J. “What?

“Can you take a deep breath and let me get a word in?”

Anya took a deep breath and looked at Holly J. “Okay.”

“You’re in love with me?”

“I think so, yeah.”

Holly J furrowed her brow. “Is that why you told me Fiona was in love with me last year?”

“She was in love with you! But, I don’t know, maybe? This whole thing is very new to me, I don’t know.”

“So are you a lesbian?”

Anya tilted her head. “I don’t think so. I mean, I did really like Sav. Maybe I’m something else. Maybe you’re special.” She threw her hands up in the air. “I don’t know Holly J. I just know I’m in love with you. What do you… what do you think of that?”

Holly J smiled at Anya. “It’s always nice to know someone loves you. And I’ve never thought about it before but maybe I”m in love with you too. Isn’t that a funny thought? We’ve been in love with each other all these years and never realized.” Anya laughed, but quickly stopped. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, we finally maybe figured something out and we’ve got almost no time. You’re off to Yale, I’m off to boot camp–”

“Anya, relax. We’ve got a whole summer before anyone goes anywhere.” Holly J took Anya’s hand, and Anya smiled. It felt safe, like Holly J’s hand was made just for her. Anya realized something and started laughing.

“Oh my God.”

“What?” Anya kept laughing, bending over as she lost her breath. “Anya, what is it?”

Anya regained her composure and smiled at Holly J. “I have to go to prom with and then dump Owen.”

Holly J tried to repress a smile but couldn’t hold it back. “That’ll be quite an adventure.”

Anya smiled back, “It’ll be worth it. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Anya squeezed Holly J’s hand before dropping it. She walked to the door and smiled over her shoulder. Holly J smiled back brightly. Anya left the room filled with happiness at the one certain thing in her future.


End file.
